Greatest Reward
by Spookysstarbuck
Summary: Response to the Announcement Challenge
1. Default Chapter

Note: This is a response to Mickey's Announcement Challenge. I saved it on my hard drive not to lose it . So here it at least the first part of it. I hopefully will be able to finish it before leaving for UK on Monday next week (UK till 17th than up from 18th Ireland) Rating: Not really sure yet .. between PG13 first part// I am not sure about part 2 yet Author: Mary Eve Parker Part: One of Two  
  
Greatest Reward  
  
  
  
October 24  
  
I was standing there watching him sleep and it was only him and me. He was asleep, calmly not having one of his bad nightmares, just sitting there - his eyes closes making soft sleeping noises.  
  
After years of chasing and hunting I had found him and what did he do? I was asleep and I caught him. I was wearing a pair of dark blue Levis and a simple dark red silk blouse, the weapon still in my hand, watching him. He looked like an angel. His head rested against the backrest and his mouth was softly opened. No Jarod wasn't snoring. He was just making these cute little sounds.  
  
And me? I was standing there the weapon in my right hand the other one on my hip thinking what to do. Nobody had ever told me what to do with him when I would have found him. I couldn't shot him, my good education and the little faith my mum had left in my resisted against it but what shall I do. I couldn't wake him now, it wouldn't be fair. He had always been the one of us with the bad night mares, so I couldn't disturb a nice one now.  
  
Was he dreaming of me? Maybe . hopefully. If there would be anybody to talk to, it would be more than a wonderful event. Sydney is lovely and a good friend but I could never talk to him about my intimate life. Broots? Well.. my cute diary he would get a hard on if I would tell him that I would love to get intimate with a man again - the first man since Thomas had left me. But it wouldn't be fair to talk to him about things like that.  
  
And now I was here, standing in front of the most gorgeous man I had ever met and he knew how good he was looking in one of this tight black jeans and the matching black rip muscle shirt which let me see some of his dark chest hair. Hell he was good looking and so cute.  
  
Can I sit down next to him? Would it be right?  
  
I sat down next to him and let my weapon rest on the coffee table next to my legs. Don't ask me how it happened or when but somewhere when I was sitting there I felt his arm around my shoulder and my head resting against his chest, one hand on his tight. I could feel his heart beat.  
  
Hell he smelt like a god. He was a god. My god. He was everything I ever needed and I couldn't tell him. I would risk my created life a way to much. Oh Mamma, if you could just be there to help me - it would mean so much to me. But you are away, left me with all my troubles and a not existing family here on earth. But Jarod? Just feeling his warm hand around my shoulder could stop all that without even thinking about it. I could left myself her, just being hold and being a little comfortable, not saying a word or making a move, just being hold was good enough for the moment.  
  
I told myself that being here in this embarrassing position was okay, it should only be for a couple of minutes. But minutes got into an hour and this one into several. When I woke up we had moved a little and my head was buried on his torso, my body between his legs, Jarod's head against the arm rest. Me, the ice queen, got into an uncomfortable situation with now way to flee because his arms where so tight around me that every way I would turn it, it would become more embarrassing. That's why I decided to let it me - and fell back to sleep, cuddled against his warm chest which was an remarkable cosy pillow.  
  
It was like being in heaven and back on earth, everything I ever wanted together in one person. I was just laying there, asleep.  
  
When I woke up the next time I was laying there on my own, just cuddled up in a thick old quilt. I slowly sat up and let me collect myself a little. It wasn't that easy, the whole situation hasn't been that easy. And where the hell was Jarod? Slowly I sat up and noticed the paper on the coffee table. It wasn't just a paper, it was an envelope and he had written my name on it - Miranda, in his wonderful fantastic handwriting, I ever loved it. Over all the years. When he sent me something personal he had always written it in Latin letters, the formal stuff belonged to the Centre.  
  
Slowly I opened the envelope and saw a card in it. I slowly flopped it out of its cage and let it pop in my lap. My weapon was away, the next thing I recognised. I wasn't afraid of the fact that it was away, just a little nervous. But why?  
  
I got the first look on the card and was in shock "Best Greetings to the final Engagement" was standing on it in big golden letters. Jarod was engaged? With which of this bitches? Zoe? Or the other slut? I couldn't believe it, an engagement card from the man I loved most in the world. But why did he had to hurt me like that all the time. Not only that he had brought Thomas to me, the man I also loved a lot but the Centre had stolen him from me. All the pain all the time.  
  
Slowly I opened it, being still partly in shock I saw a picture of me and Jarod, a part of a newspaper in it - showing me and him.  
  
[pic]  
  
How could we be engaged? How could all this have happened? I was just sitting there in shock. I turned the paper around just finding a note on the backside.  
  
Have you done that? J.  
  
No I hadn't done it. Wouldn't have I been in such a shock if I would have done it? No. We were engaged, officially. Me and Jarod. Jarod and me. Engaged. I couldn't believe it. We haven't even seen for ages, but we were engaged.  
  
"Miss Parker?" I heard a small child voice from behind me. Slowly I turned around and saw there standing a little girl who let me think of myself a little when I was around her age - not older than 4 years old. But she wasn't me. She had curled blond hair and deep blue eyes, not cold one like mine, deep blue and a wonderful and amazing, innocent smile on her lips.  
  
"What can I do for you?" I asked her, trying to smile and hide my tears. If I would have expected a person behind me, it would have been Jarod and not this beautiful little girl.  
  
"Are you miss Parker?" the girl asked me again and I just nodded. She came to me and climbed with a little help of mine on the sofa next to me. "You are beautiful" she said with a huge smile. I couldn't resist and pulled her into my lap. She was such a baby, with such startling eyes. "Thanks" where the only words I was able to say.  
  
"Uncle Jarod told me that you are an amazing beautiful woman" she said a little blushing during telling me this. "You know Jarod?" I asked her, brushing some hair behind her ear. She straddled in my lap and let her head rest against my heart. "Yes." she just whispered. Why was this little child able to melt me down, all the ice into a small puddle on the floor. She was sitting there and I had my arm around her, my back resting against the backrest. She was so cute. "How is your name cutie?" I told her slowly with the familiar nice voice. "Theodora" she said, not being able to get the "th" out the complete right way. "but uncle Jarod calls me Teddy all the time." she said with a huge smile. She was always smiling when she said his name. Like a miracle. One of his pretends? "Where is uncle Jarod?" I asked her, letting my chin rest over her head, like a protection. "At home I think." she whispered. "And where is home?" I asked her in reply. "Here, the bedroom maybe. He hasn't told me where he is waiting for you." I am not sure if I was stunned shocked or only paralysed - he was waiting for me?  
  
"Do you want me to show around?" she asked and got down from my lap but standing there with her arms wide. "Do you want me to carry you darling?" I asked her in the moment I lifted her up, letting her small frame rest on my hip. She nodded and smiled at me, one arm around my neck, the other one playing with the necklace I was wearing. It was a simple silver one with an old black glittering cross on it. It was a piece of my past I had found during the last years. A piece of family history. But this little girl had found the little cross which was buried between the softly walleye of my breasts. I don't say a word, just went to the long corridor which was more than softly lightened by its big windows on each side. "You go to the big bedroom" the little girl told me. Could I just go into this bedroom? Me the huntress who should have left in the moment I woke up?  
  
Somehow we managed to get into the big master bedroom, like she told me it would be and it was what she had told me. A big little darker room with a big lightened fire place in it, a child's bed and a king size bed on the other end. "Do you sleep here too?" I asked her. Little Teddy nodded in agreement "I am afraid of the dark" she told me. I could only think of familiar this moment was to me, he had also been afraid of the dark, .. more than once.  
  
I don't know which time it was and I didn't had a change to get a look on my watch but I noticed that the little girl was fallen asleep during the time I had decided to stare out of the window into the very dark of the night.  
  
She was afraid of the dark remember - so what to do? I slowly and softly changed her into the pyjama which was laying on the big bed and put her to sleep there, laying down next to the little sleeping frame. Hell she was beautiful.  
  
I laid down next to her and fell asleep. It had been a long week and there wasn't a desire to find Jarod right now. This little girl have me comfort enough for the final months of the year.  
  
  
  
October 25 When I woke up this little girl laid in my sleeping arm, nearly resting on my belly. She was cute, softly snoring but cute. I whipped her softly from my body, letting her get a little more sleep than me. I don't know what had woken me but I thought of seeing Jarod lurking around.  
  
"Jarod?" I whispered softly, unbuttoning the blouse when I saw a fresh tee on the bottom drawer. I slipped out of the silk and got into the cotton one. It was a little to large for me but it smelled like him.  
  
I saw his face from the other end of the room where the fire was burning again, him sitting on the floor watching me. Hell I have given him nearly a free peepshow. I went to him, couldn't resist. Jarod was sitting there just in a think cotton robe, open and when I came near him I could make out the silk boxer shorts. God he was sexy.  
  
I sat down next to him. Not saying a word just looking in his marvellous eyes, knowing that this situation was comforting us both even if we weren't speaking or touching - I would have given everything to climb under this robe to feel his chest hair tickle my naked skin. Parker stop dreaming.  
  
"Slept well Parker?" he just asked me. I nodded and wanted to ask him if he had posted this announcement. "No I haven't Parker, I thought it had been you to make me out more easily." "I haven't even known about it Jarod believe me." I couldn't look straight into his eyes. "But who had taken this photo?" he looked at me. "Ocee?" "Maybe" I answered "but I am not sure. Well let me think . it could work yeah, Ocee" "Yeah" he said and I was sure that he was thinking of the kiss which didn't happen because she disturbed us. Since this moment many things have changed, but hell who cared anymore. I wasn't the one who was chasing in the first lead anymore, it was Lyle now. Syd had given me this address, so I was sure that he was there, not a blind one this time. Syd had noticed how much I loved talking to Jarod and the cute little presents he had sent me. So many things have changed since I am back from the Island.  
  
I saw Teddy getting out of bed and moving over to us. Jarod and I were sitting on the floor next to each other and Teddy sat in the middle between us. She was such a cutie even in her long thick pale blue night gown which reached her ankles. Oh Mamma, if I could have kids. So we were sitting there with her between us. "Kiss" she said without looking at us but we didn't do, like we overheard it classically. "Why don't you kiss her?" she asked Jarod, playing with his big hand. "Why should I?" he asked. I looked at him. I wasn't sure what he was talking about but this wasn't something unfamiliar to me. This was Jarod, the living miracle. She looked at me. What should I say if she would ask me the same question. Heaven she was not older than four, what could she know about love and about *us*? "Do you like uncle Jarod?" she asked me and I slowly nodded, not watching Jarod, just staring into the little girl's eyes. "How much?" she asked again. "A lot" I answered. Than this little girl grabbed my hand and brought it to Jarod's. Within a second our fingers were entwined.  
  
~*~ To be continued ~*~  
  
liked it? let me know *begging* 


	2. 2.

part one: http://de.geocities.com/mary_eve_parker/Diary_story_1.htm  
  
  
  
Greatest Reward  
  
Part 2  
  
Was this what I have been dreaming of since we returned from the Island? Being together with the most handsome guy I had ever met. I was fascinated by his calmness, normally he would run and I would try to chase, only try because we both know that I wont bring him back, not since the island. But god he has a gorgeous ass, I had seen this part of his handsome body a way too often when he ran way.  
  
Now we were sitting here, holding hands and in the middle of us a little girl. She was a miracle to me, more than Jarod was. Sometimes I thought that she might be able to read my thoughts or let me feel an understandmant.  
  
Most of my life I have been alone, ,more than that - lonely. My mother died too young and my father, the person I thought he might be my father wasn't my father. But who cares about family. There are kids who aren't allowed to life with their family, so why shall I have one. Sometimes I was thinking about the fact that it would be easier to have no family instead of mine. Life would have been much easier. Why couldn't my life be easy?  
  
Teddy was sitting there between us, holding out hands together and somehow Jarod was staring at this bundle of flesh. We were holding hands, the most intimate action for ages. We hadn't touched, not for real only in my best hidden dreams he had kissed me. How often did it happen that I closed my eyes and let my fingers wander of my own body imagining that it would be him, his hands and his eyes. How often was I lost in my fantasy? To often lately, since the return.  
  
"Parker" Jarod said softly. "Do you want some coffee?" he asked. Thanks god that he broke the unbearable silence. Teddy our angel was just smiling. She was an angel, like the word means - blond curls, bright blue eyes and a wonderful nearly heavenly smile. And this night gown was like a holy dress. God where have I lived during my whole life, not on this planet. If yes, I would have recognised that I want to have kids and a family, something I could hold on and not my actual life, a life which wasn't lively. What have I lost during the last years? Who hasn't betrayed me ? Jarod. Jarod. Jarod.  
  
"Yeah I want some" I said and we got off the floor, Teddy on my hand. She was like a doll but with her own will and this was a strong one.  
  
~*~  
  
A couple of minutes later we were sitting around the table, Teddy in my lap. I was making her a butter bread with marmalade, just like I loved it when I was a kid. She reminded me on my lost youth, all the years I tried to run away from myself, lost in several not working relationships with older men, just to trying to be loved and lot left behind. Nothing had helped me to cope with my not existing family. Everything sucked.  
  
I was still on earth and I had the most beautiful kid I had ever seen in my lap eating a marmalade bread. By the way she was all over marmalade - from the nose down to my lap. But who cared, she had fun. Jarod made her some animal like pancakes and she loved it to see him imitating them. Teddy and me were laughing all the time about his "muh" and "mähs" - but he was cute and caring about her like I did. Don't ask me when this mother instinct developed, I cant remember it. Never knew that I had something like that at all. Never needed it till the moment to be honest.  
  
So she was sitting there eating pancakes and trying to feed me with it, bit my bit. I liked them they were tasteful especially with tons of marmalade. And there was no pain from my ulcer till the moment, not a little at all. I just enjoyed myself a little.  
  
Teddy was telling Jarod that she really liked me, in her soft chosen words who couldn't hurt somebody. She couldn't do that at all, not this child. She is like an angel and angels cant hurt somebody. And she has this puppy look on her face which reminded me to Jarod, this look was special and so cute. She was so cute. Mama - why cant she be mine?  
  
"So what do you want to do with me today?" she asked us. My eyes jumped from her little head to Jarod to give him a look. I know that I would have to go back, it was only a matter of time.  
  
"Kiddy could I have a short talk with Jarod?" I asked her softly, "and you could run upstairs and get the stuff you want to wear." She smiled at me, hopped from my lap and ran the stairs up to the bedrooms.  
  
"Jarod ." I tried to ask him how he thinks that this might go on but he interrupted. "Parker just let it happen a couple of days. Lets try to live a normal life and nothing more, just an ordinary life. You and me, please." He looked at me in exactly the same puppy look like Teddy and I couldn't resist. I nodded but didn't smile. "But we cant go on like that." "No we cant, you cant Parker" I looked at him for a minute.  
  
I was still just wearing his shirt and my slip under it, thanks god that this shirt was longer than I had expected it to be in the beginning. I was still staring at him, wondering what he intended to tell me this way. He wanted to live with me - me the icy queen of hearts, the one without a heart, just a little left and this belonged to Teddy now. The most amazing creature in my entire life.  
  
"Why do you say that?" I asked him and honestly said tears got into my eyes. I was standing there, slowly moving to the window. I stood there watching the rain. The rain. His sign of independence and freedom.  
  
Slowly I felt two arms around me. "It wasn't me who had brought you to this cottage and I didn't post this announce." He whispered into my ear "But I am happy that you are here." I couldn't believe him but I couldn't turn around to face him though. So I was standing there, his hands on my shoulders, softly freezing and shuddering - was the room getting so cold or what?  
  
"I am glad to be here too" - who had said this? Me? Cant be, I would never be that .. I would be, if this hands will rest a couple of minutes longer on my shoulder I will be able to do everything - just ask for it.  
  
The tension was dangerous. What to do next I asked myself but in the same moment Teddy came downstairs and fell over the last three steps. I couldn't stop myself from running to her. She was crying and her knee was a little bloody, not much for my taste but well I was shot not only ones, but for her it was really bloody. I took her up and we both sat down on the sofa next by the stair case. Jarod came to us. The little girl curled up in my lap. She was crying heavily and I nearly started to cry with her. But I didn't.  
  
Jarod came back to the sofa with a big band-aid and some stuff to clean the wound. Softy he let the wet cloth get over it and she didn't cry or make a move, just watched him. "Now you have to kiss it" she said with a wet smile on her lips. You could still see the tears which were running down her lovely cheeks a minute ago. "Why?" Jarod asked her. "Because its healing faster" I answered with a smile too.  
  
Slowly he let his hands rest on my tights and his lips were slowly pressing softly against her covered knee. "Thanks" she said and looked down on my tight. Oh hell yes I had cut myself during shaving the last time little above my knee because the phone was ringing and I hadn't expected it and now? Teddy looked down on the nearly healed cut and told Jarod to kiss it too. He looked at me to get an answer and slowly I nodded. I didn't look foresee to the shudder which ran up my spin the minute his lips were pressed against my tight.  
  
If we forget this little accident of his lips against me we had a lot of fun this day. Teddy showed me how to play with a doll again - I had forgotten how cute kids are when they are playing and getting into different roles.  
  
When it was time to go to bed, she asked me if I could go with her just for a little time. Jarod allowed me with a nod to go upstairs with her. She was so small but she seemed to know the whole world.  
  
We showered together, yeah showered together - even if it sounded a little however you might think, we showered together. She asked me if I would when I stood her under the hot spray and so we did. She giggled all the time when I tried to get the gel on her because I was tickling her. Sure I wasn't but she was so cute when she giggled. Okay she was cute all the time. I had never thought that I would go under the shower with a kid even if it wasn't mine. But the thing with Teddy was more than different. She was like mine. She was so cute, I wished to have a kid like her now. To have kids at all.  
  
When she was wearing her night gown again, she sat on the bed with a big book in her lap when I got out of the shower, just wearing a big blue towel. It smelled like Jarod I noticed. So I got on the bed with her, the one we had slept in the night before and I lightened the lamp on the nightstand.  
  
"You know Teddy that you don't have to be afraid in the night. Nothing will ever happen to you." I told her while she cuddled up in my arms, sitting between my legs the book in front of us. "But .. "she wanted to say when she turned around, got up a little and hugged me tight. "I cant lose you" she said softly. Stunned?-Yes! Shocked?- A little. "Why should you lose me?" I asked her hugging her back. "I lost my mum once, I couldn't lose her a second time." "You will never lose me Teddy, never" I said, tears quelling up. Why should she lose me? Or didn't she want to lose me at all? She doesn't know me, not the real me.  
  
I read her out the story of Cinderella, the classic one, not Disney - the one my mother could tell me out of her mind. She was so perfect. I could never be a good mother. I am not trained to be a woman, only a huntress.  
  
When I read out the last words of the story I noticed that she was fallen asleep against my chest. I didn't want to move or do something to make her. She was sleeping so peacefully, without any angst. And than I noticed Jarod standing in the frame of the door watching us. I gave him a hint to come over and he came not saying a word. He took the book and laid it on the night stand and when he carried Teddy out of my arms he slowly brushed my breasts. The same shudder got through my body like before. Did he notice it? Hopefully not. I cant lose my respect. Respect what a stupid word in connection with Jarod. He loved me, I was sure and I really loved him but we couldn't be together. It wasn't allowed.  
  
I let the fear control me when its going about Jarod, I let the walls get higher and higher not to let him in and every time he destroys them with just one attempt. But somehow and some way we couldn't see that we have to work together. Today and the day before I recognise that we think the same most of the time, act the same around Teddy.  
  
I slipped out of under her and he laid her down, let her cuddle up in the thick sheets. "We have to talk Jarod." I whispered not to wake her. He nodded and we sat down in front of the fire he was enlightening again. I sat down, still just wearing the towel. "It was Sydney" Jarod say. "I am not sure but he is the only one who could do stuff like that to us. The only one who would profit from it." Jarod was right, it had to be Syd. He had also given me this address. "But why Jarod?" I asked him not willing to understand the whole situation. He was right, I felt it deep inside my heart. "Marry me Miranda" he said in a whisper. I could just look at him, a mix out of staring and not knowing what to say. Yeah I would like to - but on the other hand there was the Centre, the *family* of mine. All the angst was coming up now. I couldn't marry him not even if I really would want, like I really do.  
  
More than just ones I had spend nights thinking about how it would be if we would have escaped together, and not only Jarod alone. If we both had fled, we both would live a life and not just making the next move in a stupid game of the Centre. "You know Jarod that I can." "You can Parker if you want to you can left all these bad things behind you and life with me and Teddy." "With Teddy?" This was going to me unfair and I had to grin inside of me because he had noticed how much I had fallen in love with this kid. "Yeah, only we three" "And where are her parents?" "We are her parents Parker." "No we cant." I disagreed. "But we are, hell we are." "No Jarod it cant be" I couldn't believe what I had heard. It couldn't be. I was never pregnant in my life, not till the moment. "But we are. She is our baby - your ovary and my sperm melt together in Rains laboratory and parted into this wonderful creature in another woman's body. The woman died after escaping from the Centre. Major Charles had found her. He had taken care of Teddy while I was running away from you." "It cant be true Jarod, it cant" I started to cry bitterly. "But it is believe me" he said, got a little more next to me and hugged me. I couldn't do anything else then hug him back. It was too sad to be true. I had missed the most important years of my child's life just because of the Centre. "But why haven't you told me before?" I asked. "I have Miranda, I really have tried to tell you but it wasn't that easy. You were chasing me all the time and she was still a baby. If the Centre would have found out that she was still alive, I am not sure what would have happened then." He was so right. He had done the only right thing - hidden her. Now that I know that she existed, I didn't want to see her in one of the sim labs too. She was too perfect to go into one of these cages. But what to do now?  
  
"Are you sure that she is ours?" I asked him to be sure. "More than just sure. I have tested it thousand times to be sure." he smiled. "I cant believe it Jarod. I mean .." "I know that its not easy for you Miranda" he said softly, "but I will not let her be a toy like I was for the Centre, I will hide her and if you want I can hide you too. Too many things happened to you and me, so why shall she be the one who is anxious to be found too? I have the fear for a couple of people. Want to share it with me?"  
  
I was still pressed against his chest, my arms around him. It was one of the times I was really comforted in my life. He had done it the second time in just a hand of days. I couldn't believe and on the other hand I realised that only he could do that to me, that only he had the faith to give me what I really needed - to love and being loved in return.  
  
So suddenly so strange Life wakes you up Things change I've done my best I've served my call I thought I had it all  
  
So suddenly so strong My prejudice Was gone [.]  
  
I found my place I'm different now  
  
These days  
  
  
  
Now the greatest reward  
  
Is the light in your eyes The sound of your voice And the touch of your hand You made me who I am [.]  
  
So suddenly its clear to me Things changed Our future lies here and now we made it through somehow  
  
  
  
"I will Jarod" I whispered softly. His hands were making small circles on my bag, holding me as tight as before. "I want to see her growing up, want to be a mother as long as I can and try to make all the things I have missed away. Being there when she needs me, . being there for you if you need me." I added softly. I couldn't hold my tears back. It was too wonderful. Sydney had lead me into my real future, the one which was made for me. The one I should be in and not the one, the Centre wanted me to see in. It was not my future anymore, it was *ours*.  
  
[.] I know I can't survive Another night away from you You're the reason I go on And now I need to live the truth Right now, there's no better time From this fear I will break free And I'll live again with love And no they can't take that away from me And they will see .  
  
'Cause I'd surrender everything To feel the chance to live again .  
  
  
  
~~*~~ FIN ~~*~~  
  
Feedback: like always *begging on my knees* if you liked it and if you want to give some critics - feel free to do it.  
  
1.Note: its going to the BETA in a second now, but I had to share the ideas of it with you all. 2.Note: Its "The Greatest Reward" and "I surrender" by Céline Dion - whom else if I am allowed to ask have you expected? 3.Note: I kept it PG13, as hard as it was for me for all the younger ones here. I love the *hard* stuff like Tiff & Co. know, but well, don't judge me for the second *soft* one. It will not get too common be sure. ( 


End file.
